I used to think of being the best. I always wanted to deliver the best of what I can do. I never settled with being second. However it frustrated me. I can never be number one always and I can never make life fit my designs, always. Yet, what is wrong being second or third or part of the majority? What if I am not among the A-listed and instead just one of the many ordinary people? Will I cease to exist? Ah, maybe. I will die, just like everyone, let us stop pretending naivete, I desire attention. Oh, no, I crave for attention. Lol, I do. Attention makes me affirm myself. Everyone does. I am who I am because I am attended by others who, though not themselves pretend, or so strive to be someone. Hahaha, going in circles! But then, there is something good being ordinary. For one, you can do the things you like to do without being over conscious of people waiting for any error on your part. Attention drags perfection, hmmm, how perfect? Violent, perhaps. Another, being ordinary makes you look at things more important. You stop drawing attention to you, thus stop being perfect and you start realizing, ouch I’m not perfect but the world is. Gee all along I am misled, God put me here not to hold the world but for me to be crafted by it so that I may, one day, fit in its beautiful symmetry. Who is the best then? Definitely not me, I do not write the fate of the universe. I have my own. I just float, float like clouds swirling, following the wind and colored by love that surrounds. I am not perfect. I cannot create the world. The world creates me and so I am the world and being so, I recreate. I am not perfect but from me being one, I become. Ah, being and becoming, forever tied but always be, in the fate designed by God.
Fit in, strive to be more human my first batch of Paulinian students.